Jimmy Fallon: Americans Care About New ‘Spider-Man’ More Than Covid


“Well guys, as I mentioned, today the report on the origin of Covid is complete and an unclassified version will be made public soon. And like everything about this outbreak, I’m sure the Americans will fully accept the truth and shelve all the conspiracy theories.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yes, the unclassified report will come out in a few days, or sooner if Sony accidentally leaked it early.” — JIMMY FALLON references leaked “Spider-Man” trailer

“President Biden encouraged Americans yesterday to go out and get the shot while they were waiting for the FDA to approve the Pfizer coronavirus vaccine. But I don’t know, something tells me they’ll find a way to get the goalposts moving again: [imitating anti-vaxxer] ‘Sure, it’s FDA-approved, but farm-to-table, something that’s suddenly super important to me?’” — SETH MEYERS

“Following the FDA’s announcement that it has officially approved the Pfizer vaccine, President Biden is now urging private companies to embrace the vaccine mandate. If you ask me, this is part of a giant conspiracy between the government and the corporate elite that violates Americans’ God-given right to contract a deadly virus. further proof.” — JAMES CORDEN

“After the full approval of Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine, the company announced that it will begin marketing the drug under the Comirnaty name, so people will now start referring to the Pfizer vaccine as the ‘Pfizer vaccine’.” — SETH MEYERS

“It’s too late to rebrand. It’s your friend back from vacation and it’s like, ‘Everybody actually calls me Turbo now’.” — SETH MEYERS

“Listen, if they really wanted people to buy it, they should have named it White Claw.” — JIMMY FALLON

Niall Horan, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”, announced a new name for his fan base: “Horan Dogs”.


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