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Selma Blair In our first session, we could only talk for half an hour. That was as long as he trusted his brain and body to cooperate—no more, and he feared that his focus would begin to drift or that his speech would fall behind. “We are responsible for knowing that smaller moments will be clearer moments,” he said.
For Blair, no day is free from the effects of multiple sclerosis, the autoimmune disease she learned she had in 2018, but believes began to attack her central nervous system years ago.
This particular Friday in September got off to a particularly rough start: She said she woke up at her home in Los Angeles and felt “as bad as everyone else went out”, but found that talking to people helped ease her discomfort. Blair said he had good conversations earlier in the day and looked forward to ours.
So, if he needs a break during this interview, he chuckles happily and says, “You’re boring me.”
The same unbridled candor persists in all interactions, whether written or spontaneous, with the cameras on or off, even when sharing a reckoning of time. went to “The Tonight Show” wearing a halter top she accidentally wore to the side. It was a story she proudly told me as she swirled her bleached blonde hair with her fingers cut short and within five minutes of our video call. (She took on a chirpy, Ethel Merman-like voice as she explained her choice of style and sang “I want to be a shiksa.”)
But Blair’s candor has started to make more sense in the three years since then. She went public about her MS diagnosis. Now, whether she’s posting personal diaries on social media or performing on the red carpet, she realizes she’s a representative with an opportunity to educate a wider audience about what she and others with MS are going through.
It is the philosophy of maximum openness that takes it further by emerging as the subject of a new documentary. “Introducing Selma Blair.” The movie he directed Rachel FleitA fearless account of Blair’s life with MS and the stem cell transplant she had to treat it in 2019. (The documentary will premiere on October 15 and will begin airing on Discovery+ on October 21.)
As Blair explains, she hoped the movie would make sense for audiences who felt challenged and uncertain, whether they had a chronic illness or not.
“This is my human condition,” he said, “everybody has their own situation, but I think we’re united in feeling lonely or scared when there’s a big change in our lives. It wasn’t a futile project at all, and I can love smugness.”
For Blair, the documentary is only part of an effort to understand herself to determine how much of her identity is shaped by her illness and what will remain or change as she receives treatment.
“If this had happened in my 20s, trying to start a career and set aside a few shekels, I would have been embarrassed,” he said. “I’m old enough now. I know a completely different personality and I’m not ashamed.”
Recalling his childhood upbringing in a Michigan suburb, Blair described himself as a 7-year-old rummaging around his copy of the Physicians’ Desk Reference, a huge prescription drug factbook, and wondered why he was constantly experiencing pain and fatigue. and unpredictable mood swings.
These difficulties continued into adulthood: the pain worsened especially after the birth of her son Arthur in 2011; He had vision problems and experienced involuntary muscle contractions in his neck.
Blair said she didn’t understand why her symptoms changed from environment to environment until she received her diagnosis. “I can walk better in my house, but it’s like a sand pit outside,” he said. “In a certain light, my speech is intermittent, even if I have a good larynx.”
“It never occurred to me that there was a traffic jam occurring in my brain,” he said.
In the flurry of attention that followed Blair’s announcement of her diagnosis, she met Fleit and they decided to shoot the documentary just days before Blair went to Chicago for a stem cell transplant.
Fleit added that Blair did not exercise any editorial control over the film, adding that the effort would have been successful only if the actress was “willing to show the world what really happened – that brutal sincerity and honesty that you don’t see open to it.”
Fleit, who has alopecia universalis, an autoimmune disease that causes hair loss, said she felt a special connection with Blair as filming continued.
“Being a bald woman in the world has given me unique access to a certain kind of emotional pain,” Fleit said. “It doesn’t scare me anymore and I feel uniquely qualified to make room for another person going through it.”
However, not everyone in Blair’s life was immediately comfortable with her following both the movie and the stem cell transplant. Sarah Michelle Gellar, a longtime friend and co-star of Blair in “Cruel Intentions,” said she dreaded the treatment accompanied by an intense chemotherapy regimen.
“I felt it was too risky,” Gellar said. “And his attitude was, yes, I’m managing now, but I may not be in 10 years and I’m not going to be a candidate for this treatment. It was now or never. And now or never is a very good description of Selma.”
Gellar was also unsure of her movie project—“I’m such a private person, I can barely share going to the supermarket,” she said—but she understood Blair’s position: She felt she was important to her son.
As Gellar recalls, “God forbid, if I don’t make it, Arthur has a video diary of my experiences. He’ll never wonder, have I given up? He will understand how hard I struggled to be there for him.”
To Parker Posey, a friend and colleague For nearly 20 years, Blair’s decision to make a documentary was as legitimate a form of expression as any other artistic endeavor.
“That’s all we have – your life as an actor, it’s all material, it’s all story,” Posey said. “Am I falling into something that gives me meaning, away from the vulgarity of most entertainment?”
Posey said, “Anyone who can find purpose in creating what they need to create and live their life boldly is art. This is victory.”
Blair, on the other hand, when the shooting of the documentary began, “I don’t think I noticed. There was really no directing, and I say that best.”
“I don’t think I realized that the subject of a movie came out where I was. I didn’t really handle this. ”
We said our goodbyes as our half hour was drawing to a close, and I told Blair I was looking forward to reconnecting with her in a few days. “I hope I’m alive,” he replied in a humorously ethereal voice.
Our next session, scheduled for that Monday, had to be postponed when Blair fell off her horse over the weekend. As he told me on the next call – this time on the phone, as the video calls made it difficult for him to focus – he lost his balance and overextended his thumb, but other than that, he was fine.
More embarrassed than he felt about how he acted in our first conversation, he admittedly used his extreme sense of humor to get his anxiety on paper. “I’m terrified because I even have a blemish on my mind, you’re not going to bring it up – you’re not going to be able to get this mind-body thing to work,” she said. “I’ll use a shit’s defense when I feel like I’m faltering.”
He was also disturbed by a statement he saw. his Instagram account from someone who offered support for his documentary but said, “I wish a normal person like a non-celebrity did it because it’s not the same thing,” as Blair explains in her comment.
“I am a normal person,” Blair added emphatically.
Cynthia Zagieboylo, president and CEO of the company National Multiple Sclerosis SocietyHe said Blair’s decision to share the story of her experiences could be helpful to other people with the disease and those who want to learn more about it.
“There’s no right way to go through something like this,” said Zagieboylo. “There are no two MS stories that are the same, and it is very personal for people to express themselves.”
When someone like Blair is open about her illness, Zagieboylo says, “people can feel less alone when facing the challenges of their own MS. People experiencing potential symptoms may notice something. It could lead to an earlier confirmed MS diagnosis, which means people can be treated more quickly, which can lead to better outcomes.”
“There’s really no downside to that, by sharing your journey with the world in a truly authentic way,” he added.
Blair said her MS is said to be in remission, saying that “there’s no clear way for my disease to get worse, and that’s huge. This gives you breathing space.” There was no exact timeline for how effective the stem cell transplant would be, but as he said in his distinctive style, “I could have been hit by a bus before that.”
One of the odd benefits of this period of relative calm is the chance to find out if his mood and past behaviors – outbursts, impulsivity – which he considers essential components of his personality, are signs of his illness.
Blair described a conversation she had with a neurologist who asked if she was taking medication for pseudobulbar affect, a condition that could result in sudden uncontrollable laughing, crying, or anger.
Blair said, “No, it’s just me, what are you talking about?” said. “Or maybe not.” It never occurred to me.”
Blair added, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to recover from the neurological damage. I know I can find new ways, but I’ve been afraid for too long.”
She continues to help raise Arthur, whom she shares custody with her father, Jason Bleick, a fashion designer, and her ex-boyfriend. However, he said that his son could not watch the whole documentary.
“In about 20 minutes, he wasn’t comfortable,” he said. “He was worried that people would see me like this and talk behind my back or not give me a job.”
Blair said she wanted to continue working as an actress and although she was perceived as stepping back from the industry, it wasn’t because she didn’t put herself out for the roles.
“Since I’ve been diagnosed, the advice to me is the old woman, the person in the wheelchair, the person hitting the walls,” Blair said. “I may be those things, but I’m still everything I was before and I shouldn’t be reduced to that.”
But now that she’s put herself in the most accurate way she knows, Blair hopes that this kind of transparency has value that her efforts remind others—and reinforce within herself.
“There is a difference it can make in people,” he said. “I don’t mean it in a flaky, bland way. I mean, take the time to really get beyond it, because you never know what people are hiding inside, and what a relief it is to know even lovely people like me”—he couldn’t suppress one last knowing laughter—”that they’re being bothered by their own brains. and sometimes bodies. That’s the comfort I wish to give.”
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